Our mindset is a direct reflection of our environment, upbringing and influences around us. Our mindsets are powerful and carry the ability to change our lives, either negatively or positively. Mindsets are what determines our future, so make sure you have the right mindset.
This chapter will help you recognize a fixed mindset, and if you have one, hopefully ignite a fire in you to start changing it. Furthermore, I will identify the ten commandments of a happy mindset and help you gain a happy mindset.
Do You Have a Fixed Mindset?
Our mindset is made up of our core beliefs. Some individuals believe that their characteristics and traits are embedded and fixed parts of them. This is what we call a fixed mindset. If you think that factors such as our intelligence is a trait that cannot be changed, you have a fixed mindset. This is not how traits work. Our brains have the ability to build new cells and connections which means that we are able to increase our level of intelligence with effort and hard work. Believing in phrases such as “This is how I was raised” and “I will not change, this is who I am” does not help you in any way, it is just a reflection of a fixed mindset. This type of mindset is unhealthy and keeps us stuck in one place because we think we cannot move.
Take a moment and think about the mindset who strongly believes that they are unable to do math because nobody else in their family can solve mathematical problems. He probably also will not be able to do it, not because he does not possess the level of intelligence to do it, but because of his beliefs and fixed mindset. If you have this type of mindset, you need to work on believing that change can occur and no trait of you is fixed. This mindset will lead you to negative daily habits that will impact the quality of your life negatively.
If you have a fixed mindset it means you are living in a bubble. Clinging to what you are comfortable with and rejecting new opportunities is a mindset that is stagnant and has no growth. Never allow your mindset to keep you back in life.
Let's rewind and think about how your mindset has evolved over the years, which factors contributed to it and how it impacted the quality of your current life. The mindset you have created over time created your current level of happiness. Factors that contribute to your mindset can be your family dynamic, cultural aspects, society, your friends, life experience, the music you listen to, the movies you watch, and the news. A common and most contributing factor refers to our childhood conditioning. For example, growing up in a house where parents always had a negative reaction to new opportunities, adventures and activities. That mindset of your parents and their attitude most likely affected your mindset to be resistant to new things as well.
In addition, literally everything you allow to penetrate your mindset, affects it. Although, some things also leave a mark on us without our realization. Ever noticed how we pick up on words our favorite people say? No, you don't! You just one catch yourself saying it and it sounds familiar. Figure out which aspects feed the idea of your fixed mindset and eliminate it! Also, recognise what type of mindset rejects happiness and does not allow you to grow and work on improving it.
People often say to each other “Stay as you are” but with a well intended meaning, while not realising how much those words are telling someone else that it is okay to have a fixed mindset. This mindset of society should be changed to always promote growth and encourage others to have a mindset that is constantly busy evolving.
Our mindset is made up of billions of thoughts. Our thoughts hold the power to strengthen or weaken something. Thoughts are constantly running through our minds, make sure it is good ones that are planting seeds of maintaining a healthy mindset that positively impacts the quality of your life. Everyone's mindset consists of both positive and negative thoughts. We are human but it depends on yourself to consciously allow the positives to be dominant and to turn the negatives into positives. Have you noticed how people who always dwell on the negative things, are always unhappy and the ones we see as annoying sending the good morning messages to everyone are always happy? What we choose to focus on most and always think about will eventually manifest.
We have created a culture that promotes the idea of “No pain, no gain” making people think that enduring hardships is the only way to find pure happiness. It is the "no pain no gain" mindset that harvests a fixed mindset because people will endure as much as they can which eventually causes negative outcomes. This makes many people think “I can only spoil myself if I finish this and that first." Why do we feel like we are only deserving of life’s pleasure after putting ourselves through a tough situation? Why do we wait till Friday to buy takeout? We deny ourselves of activities that we enjoy in times we need it most.
Our happiness should not depend on our planned future events such as “I would be happy if...” or “When I finally achieve this...”. What is stopping you from being happy now? Only the “now” matters. Focus on consciously making you happy in the present moment. If you stay focused on what you lack and place happiness on future achievements, you are making your chances of being happy in the moment very narrow. When you eventually achieve something you were set on making you happy, challenges will still arise.
Do not confuse temporary relief with happiness. The feeling you get after receiving what you placed your happiness on, is relief, not happiness. That is a byproduct of happiness. Our happiness stems from internal factors, and not so much from external factors. Thinking that you can only be happy once your life is perfect, or once you have reached a certain age and achieved all your desires, is not true. Happiness can be created at any given moment in your life, you just need a happy mindset.
Our level of happiness is a result of the type of mindset we have developed over the years. A positive mindset consists of a mental and emotional attitude that always attempts to see the silver lining in situations. Our lives are the consequence of the dominant thoughts we have daily and the habits we practice. Always try to live in the present and look for things that will provide you pure bliss. There will always be something to make you happy, just reach out and grab it!
Our brains were wired to care for the ones around us. We live by the quote “sharing is caring” because it rewards us internally. When we give or take care of another person, it allows the brain to release happy hormones and uplifts your mood.
How we choose to create happiness for ourselves originates from how we view our purpose on earth, the meaning of our existence, and from the connection with God almighty.
Our existence in the universe is to please God. Happiness is a frame of mind and our mindset is responsible for the control thereof.
The ten commandments of Happiness mindset as follows:
1. Do not confine yourself
2. Do what you love for a living
3. Enjoy the little things in life
4. Take time to disconnect yourself from the social media
5. Do things for others just for the sake of it
6. Respect yourself
7. Be optimistic
8. Surrender yourself to God Almighty
9. Accept things as they are
10. Be Generous
Gain a Happy Mindset
Sometimes we are aware of which aspects we lack and even when we know what to do to change our mindset, we still choose to avoid those things. Why?
Because humans are naturally self-destructive. This occurs when we are comfortable in our little bubbles that we have created over time. We make a habit out of ignoring our needs and reject the things that could make our life better. We lack self-discipline, self-love and self-care. We choose to not make room for it because it seems hard. Once you start, things will follow and fall in place. Decisions made concerning your life and mindset, should always positively influence it, not make it worse. Let go of being self-destructive! It is never too late to make a change and start having a healthier mindset. Make it your responsibility to make the shift into possessing a happy mindset.
Ten things to help gain a happy mindset
Appreciate everything, the positive and negative
Make choices that will benefit you
Breathe before responding
Listen to podcasts
Follow funny and positive youtube channels
Schedule a time slot in your daily routine for one of your hobbies
Surround yourself with people that feed you positively
Don't seek validation from others
Always hope for the best
By appreciating every moment and thing you possess in this world, you will be truly happy which in return will lead you to see the good in negative moments as well. A happy mindset views negatives as opportunities to learn and grow. They never allow the negative things in life to get to them because they are aware that moments and feelings are temporary. It shall pass.
Always choose the things you will benefit from, no matter how difficult it is. Life will throw situations at you where you will be faced with making a decision that is difficult but you will soon see how it is needed to gain a happy mindset and how it will transform your life for the better.
Before responding to someone or reacting to a situation, breathe. This gives you time to gather yourself and to respond rationally which causes better interpersonal interactions and better problem solving skills in situations.
Take some time and listen to podcasts that resonate with you. Take from it, learn from it and feed yourself with the information. Implement what you have learned in your life.
Start watching youtube channels that feed you positively and make you laugh. It is important that you find ways on the internet to make you laugh and teach you life lessons. Refrain from following people that drain you, make you overthink and question things or make you feel bad about your own life.
Also, if you are a sensitive person who absorbs what happens around you, do not watch the news. The news often evokes anxiety within us and makes us worry about things we do not have to worry about.
Even though we live in a society where we are constantly busy, we need to take time and enjoy what makes us happy as well. Make time for your favourite hobby and enjoy the moment. Do not feel bad for having fun, you deserve it!
Spend time with people who bring you positive energy, who encourage you, who love and support you without expecting anything in return. Surround yourself with people you can learn from, people who are honest with you, and the ones who see your worth and remind you about it. These people will help in gaining a happy mindset.
Quit the judgemental attitude towards others and yourself. Most importantly, be kind to your thoughts. Be kind to yourself when you go through hardships, know how to comfort yourself instead of beating yourself up.
Don't allow validation to come from others. Validation should come from within and not external sources. Validate your own choices and decisions, you don't need to ask the opinion of someone else in order to make a decision.
Trust yourself enough to make decisions on your own and believe that good will come from it. If you leave this power in the hands of someone else, you will learn the habit of pleasing others instead of making yourself happy.
Always hope for the best in every situation and if the "best" does not happen, don't dwell on it for too long. Feel it and let it go. Sending out good vibes is what creates good outcomes and happy mindsets.
Harvest a healthy mindset that will improve the quality of your life and will allow you to be happy.